apr 08 muddy convention

          I was at a convention in a distant city. It was a large gathering, and we had just arrived. There was a small table of people here for a different conference. They were black – not the race, but the color. Shades of black and grey. There was a room off to the side, with big, muddy men with motorbikes. Someone commented on the fact that there was a river of mud emerging from their room and someone else said ‘yes, but they stay at the poshest hotel’. This was a very astute and sobering observation. People took note.  There was general disarray as people tried to find their places and get to work. My mobile phone rang in my purse, and I had to struggle to extract it from the wire for the head set attached to it, but finally got it open and answered. It was Pam, saying that the schedule for the next day had been changed because

shark

          I was on an old fashioned boat on tropical waters. There was a man on the shore, and the boat was tied to shore. Something happened, and the boat was cast away from shore, and the rope broke. I watched the man recede from me and he said something about the boat not being seaworthy, and there being deep, cold currents here. My boat shot backwards and wound up in a calm cove with warm, shallow water. Two men came toward me from the water, and I said that we could just swim back to the dock, right? I was thinking about the deep, cold currents, and they were too, but said nothing. I swam along using the sidestroke, and was watching both above and below the water. I saw sea weed and some other mildly creepy things under water, and then I saw a shark. It was quite small, as sharks go, and swimming swiftly,

Why we sleep

          We understand the mechanisms that cause sleep; the hypothalamus stops producing histamines, which normally keep you awake (think about getting drowsy on antihistamines). It stops producing histamines in response to your circadian clock, which is kept by another part of the hypothalamus, the suprachiasmatic nucleus, which sits atop the optic chiasm, and keeps track of how much light you’re exposed to. Other areas of the brain influence the hypothalamus and cortex, including the ascending reticular activating system and, of course, your conscious mind.  Worry or anticipation can keep you awake. We don’t know the causal reason for thoughts regulating histamine output, but they do.

          Once you are asleep the thalamus, which is the central switching station through which all sensory information has to pass

train in Russia

          I was on a train or bus in Russia. It stands high off the ground. When it stops and chrome ladder emerges and the people slide down it to the ground. When we stop the slide by our door doesn’t emerge, and people have to jump to the ground. I am watching and see a man tumble to the door, and I recognize him as someone who needs help. I step up to the door and get him to hand me his things one by one. First there is a huge sack of potatoes, then a bundle with clothes and  a bottle in it. I almost drop that. Then there is a bottle of vodka. The man takes a swig before handing it to me. I place it on the ground with elaborate care. Then he presents his hands with a pair of black gloves half off, and I reach forward, but he acts exasperated, as though I wanted to also place the gloves on the ground for him – which would be too solicitous – but I only reach for his hands to brace him for the jump.

          He jumps down and suddenly the space is small. I sit back on the potatoes and swing my legs around to give him room to walk away from the door way. He walks around and faces me and gives me an intense look of connection. I feel it could be attraction,

revived baby

          I was caring for a small, blond child named Tina. She became ill and died. I tried to revive her, but it didn’t work. I was trying to wrap her in a shroud, and sometimes she became a cat. I was having trouble with the shroud. There were times when I thought she might still be breathing, but someone with me was also acting as though she was dead. She then started to vomit, and I thought it must be a physiological reflex of some sort. A large amount of black vomitous came out. Then she became a young man, and it was very difficult to turn him over. I got him on his stomach, and then collapsed in exhaustion on top of his head and shoulders. I worried briefly about smothering him, but then remembered that he was dead. I knew he should be on his back, with his arms folded on his chest, so I tried to turn him over, but then the sheet slid out from under him, and I had to start all over